


Tasting Freedom

by reminiscence



Category: Anorexia (manga)
Genre: F/M, Freeverse poetry, ffn challenge: diversity writing challenge, ffn challenge: the poetry collection challenge, poetry collection, word count: 1001-1500 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7993258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reminiscence/pseuds/reminiscence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because that's what it all comes back to for Ryoko Seusu. Freedom that's an apple from Eden's garden and she's been thrown out for tasting it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lust

She wanted freedom:  
that was the dream, a dream denied  
because of her parents' dreams  
tied on to her.

Like a puppet caught in its strings she hung –  
out, she wanted out of it.  
It wasn't fair

And there was a way in front of her:  
the brother their parents drove  
to a different end –

She could steal that: the way he could walk  
a different path, despite being just like her –

She'd make him her  
and then  
she could walk there as well.


	2. Chastity

Her talk of freedom lost them both  
their dreams: their parents mightn’t otherwise  
have known – but now they did:  
what she’d done, how she’d tainted him.

They almost didn’t care  
that she could no longer walk: just that she’d cost  
both of them their dreams.

Well, it was all fine for them: she could dream no more  
of freedom, with her broken legs  
nor could she dance and give them fame  
nor could she have a child  
to carry on their name.


	3. Gluttony

It hadn’t really been a necessary act  
but she’d desired it – a mix of fear and anger  
and jealousy and some other feeling  
she couldn’t quite identify –

She’d wanted his his life: everything he had –  
to become a part of her

And so she took the scissors under his skirt  
and cut it off,  
making him exactly  
like her

But even that wasn’t enough:  
just being like her –

He had to actually become her  
and she, become him.


	4. Temperance

She couldn’t ever regret – something was wrong with her  
there. She’d stolen her brother’s life away and all she felt sorry about  
was her legs, lying dead atop the bed.

And when she met her crazy doctor with crazy ideas,  
she didn’t mind: in fact, she welcomed it  
because that was her dream right there –  
the dream she’d barely tasted  
and wanted yet so much more.

Even though what she needed wasn’t hers to take –  
but her twin hadn’t been hers to take  
and she’d taken him anyway.


	5. Greed

She had no reason to decline his plans: his offer.  
She had no qualms against it  
and it would give her the freedom she craved,  
the freedom she deserved

Though this time, and that, she was stealing it away.  
She didn’t care there was people worse than her.  
She was no saint.  
She wanted her freedom  
even if it had cost her dearly once.  
She’d take her interest too.

She was going to splash in blood for it –  
and it would only be a little different this time  
Whole bodies gave out more blood  
than a tiny little organ after all.


	6. Charity

She gave her brother up, in the end.  
She didn’t think she’d ever do that  
but she did.

Maybe because those bitter feelings faded a bit  
once she had her freedom back: this time a permanent thing  
because their parents weren’t around any ore  
to decide her life for her –

She could be, for the first time who she wanted to be  
with her newly moving legs

So she didn’t need him to be in her shadow  
anymore.


	7. Sloth

She was the monster with other human parts inside her  
but the one’s who’d caught and slaughtered the meat  
were others –

Poor souls who’d been so greatly deceived,  
who thought they were the monsters  
while in truth they were caught in the web of desire  
as the shepherd sat back and watched  
them prepare the meat for her.


	8. Diligence

She had to work hard now  
but no-one would do this for her:  
the last step, for gaining back her freedom,  
her great desire

So she struggled on, because in the end, the result  
was so close she could almost taste its tang,  
taste those steps she would take  
without anything there to hold her up, hold her back…

For that goal, she struggled on  
herself.


	9. Wrath

She’d make her brother pay.  
He’d been the one to get away  
after all, while she was nailed,  
hammed, into this coffin box  
forever more.

But she wouldn’t allow forever.  
She wanted freedom.  
She demanded freedom.  
She’d put a new plan in place, already,

But there was still failure to be paid  
and he, who’d escaped with his spine intact  
would pay it.


	10. Patience

He wondered how she could walk:  
pull herself up on that bar,  
drag herself like an earthworm  
and just keep on going like that,  
pride in shoes

But she’ll be patient  
for this at least: she’s waited long enough,  
longed for it long enough.  
She can’t let impatience be the thing  
to snatch it away.

She can’t let herself do anything less  
but get over this last hurdle  
by herself.


	11. Envy

She wants her brother’s life.  
And what she wants, she takes  
except this, this is too hard  
because she’s not a boy,  
he’s not a girl.

The latter is easier to change.  
Dress him up in dresses.  
Snap her scissors in other places  
so his hair grows long  
and something else  
doesn’t grow at all.

Doesn’t matter he can’t have a nice pretty babe  
for their parents, because that’s a long way away  
and he can do the rest

And then she can take his place  
in the world.


	12. Kindness

It’s almost sickening, watching his brother dote  
on the world. He’d have doted on her too,  
if she hadn’t pushed him so, asked for more –  
But she’s selfish. She demands all he has to give  
and more  
and maybe she wouldn’t have needed so much  
if the leash around her neck had been a little looser…

But it was so tight, so choking, that she never   
even looked to see his identical noose.  
After all, he was there, outside, and she was not.  
She was the bird in the cage and he was the cat outdoors  
and she wanted to be the cat,  
the cat her brother was, fawning to the world.


	13. Pride

She wants to take what she wants  
but to be asked, to be pitied  
is another thing.

She doesn’t want that pity.  
Not at first.  
It’s not really pity, though  
and she’s happy enough to be used  
when she sees that mad scheme:  
jam-filled…

It’s not charity. She’ll be giving something too,  
and it won’t cost her a bit: the type of trade  
she’s only too happy to make.

Better still would have been  
if she could take it herself: with her own legs…  
but that’s the point. Right now, she has   
no legs to stand upon.


	14. Humility

She doesn’t want the help. They offer it  
as a passing courtesy, and it breaks  
like a broken vase, as it should.  
It has no place with her.

But she’s a prisoner now: bound and gagged  
and they have to help: clean her, feed her, move her –  
and she has to accept their help

At least, until blood red knights  
brings new studded legs for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for
> 
> The Poetry Collection Challenge, November 2014 (seven deadly sins and heavenly virtues)  
> Diversity Writing Challenge, c4 – poetry collection centred around a specific character (Ryoko Seusu)


End file.
